What About A Trial SeparationSometimes, married life may become extremely stressful. During that stressful time many couples may find it difficult to live together and often they will consider A Trial Separation. The Couple thinks if they have a trial separation it will help them work through some of their problems. The question is What about a trial separation will it help save a marriage. In some cases, separation is prohibited by cultural or religious rules. The nagging question remains can separation save a marriage and does it really work? There two ways of marriage separation, either informal separation or legal separation. Generally, informal separation is what you both agree by a mutual understanding. There is a formal division of the property, arrangements about possession of cars, credit cards and bank accounts. A legal, formal separation is more complicated, permanent and expensive. People undergoing the process of legal separation go through time, pain and expense. Generally, separation is not the first step to save a marriage. Many couples first try to participate in marital counseling which may help to work through the differences. Some couples seek out an advice from the friends, family or religious leaders. However, be on guard about dragging your friends or family into the middle of your problems, because in many cases what you are looking for is someone to confirm that you are the injured party. Some people are successful in resolving their marital problems after participating in couple retreats or marriage seminars, but many more are not. Along with these options or after trying these options, the couples choose a trial separation. Now, you will wonder can separation save a marriage; is it an appropriate way to save a marriage? Yes, it may be helpful, but let me say this with a big question"?" Many times a trial separation opens the door to the final step of the breakdown of the relationship. Many times the couple may even suggest seeing some one else and if this happens, most of the time the marriage has come to the end. There has been some success with a trial separation, but I believe it is safe to say their has been a lot more failures. If you decide to separate clear ground rules need to be set. It is a trial for a particular length of time. No one is allowed to date any other person, and the couple themself get together at least a couple of time per week for a date. During the date each person must never talk about how great it is to be apart. The tendency, I found, that marriage couples will play games but testing the other to see if they are missed. In my opinon the only good thing about a trial separation is that it is reversible. If you decide to enter into a trial separation, you must go through marital counseling. This separation period must be used to think about your differences, your mistakes, problems in your married life, what life was like when you were first married and of course ways to resolve your issues. An absence of daily bickering and conflicts may be an effective answer to the question can separation save a marriage. Due to a lack of proximity, there is absolutely no chance for conflicts. Both the partners get enough time to think over their marital problems. Most of the marital problems originate from fear, ego or stubbornness. Resolution is possible as long as the partner wishes to keep trying. The main purpose of trial separation is to develop the skills of resolving the problems before moving back together and working on improving the relationships. For a couple, a planned separation can be a good time to think, to analyze, to reflect, to calm down and cool off. It helps to make thoughtful decisions and thus work to save a marriage. But remember a trial separation can be dangerous. In some cases, separation may be unplanned and there may be no plans for marriage counseling, no tentative time-line for separation and no guidelines agreed about seeing others. Hence, before you think about separation, talk with each other about the individual goals of separation. Both should be ready for seeking individual and joint counseling during the separation period. The answer to the question can separation save a marriage lies within the person himself/herself; you need to realize how important your spouse is in your life and how life may be without him/her. What you trying to recapiture is what you had at first. Here the words of Romeo, "but soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the East, and Juliet is the sun." or " See how she leans her check upon her hand. O, that I were a glove upon that hand, That i might touch that check."
|
|
|